:Extras:
Profile
Rings
Reviews
-
September 10, 2005 at 4:25 p.m.
"Slow Suicide" - JamisonParker
I haven't showered and the smell of you and sex is intoxicating. I can't breathe in this space of myself that reminds me of you. I'm choking back tears because you are so undeserving of them. You feel guilty for hurting me? I should save these tears to cry in front of you, but I could never hurt you. I am pathetic when it comes to you. Is this love? I don't even know. It was so much easier with Jared and Chris, a mutual relationship told me what we had and how I felt, but this oneway bullshit is fucking me up. I will never mean to you what you mean to me, but as you crashed you told me what you said was true. You did love me, still do in a way. I'm not sure if I believe you and you're not sure if you believe yourself.
You are so far gone in this addiction. This girl in your life is only making it worse and I believe when I was in your life I made it better. As little as I believe what you say I believe that you did avoid getting stoned before seeing me. Until last night you have always been considerate of my feelings when it came to your drug use. I am not your cokehead girlfriend, Darling. Don't expect of me what you expect of her.
You think that you're looking for something more. A longterm relationship? If I raise my hand will you pick me? We share everything, but the biggest aspect of your life. Of course when I'm around you I compromise everything that ever mattered. I care so much about you that I set double standards for the people that I actually love and I let you get away with murder. This would be a crumbling foundation for us, but I don't even care because I am stupid and naieve.
:PLAYLIST:
:I
READ:
envyyou
jenifer-007
boysxkickxme
jarardlikesu
ending-here
DearJared
weneedariot
x-star-
blackout-
dana-elayne
emokid-112
xshebreaks
andwebreathe
kaydizzle
gloryxxfades
britneypink
eatxmexalive
yourmove-
darceek
onlydespair
girls-suck
greed-
amber163
fragiledeath
lovemeonce
xbeeyatchx
addisen
ifiwere
forever-emo-