{{{Bite Me}}}

Flawed
February 04, 2005 at 4:33 p.m.

Listening to: "This Photograph is Proof (I Know You Know)" by Taking Back Sunday

Feeling: Meh

I'm not sure which was is up anymore, but I'm pretty sure that I'm just falling down. Nothing is sure, but I'm hanging on for a good time and putting all my doubts in the back of my mind. When was the last time I let myself be and didn't give a fuck? Back when my life was good.

I'm working everyday and spending hours on the road in a fog that I can't see through. I listen to my music so loud that it hurts my ears and I crave cigarettes, but never smoke them... but I would kill for one. I play songs on repeat for some sort off effect.

I say the word died over and over again until it is nothing, but a mess in my mouth that I have no connection to. "Taylor died" "Taylor died" "Taylor died" "Taylor died". Over and over and over and over until I generalized it to make the pain stop because it hurts now when all the memories are coming back. Sometimes I still catch myself not believing it. Adam is alive. I'll see him sometime.

My heart is heavy, but I don't think about it. I steal kisses, but I'm not sure which ones are stolen... Both are sins and rip me apart. Everytime I make up my mind, I change it. I'm so indecisive. It's absolutely disgusting.

I am only flawed.

Do you forgive me?

If I allow this drug inside my body, why don't I allow the others? I'm strong in my convictions... But sometimes convictions change. There is a bunny on my ankel that whispers the truth to me in the shower. My friends are screaming it at the top of their lungs.

I am deaf.

I am flawed.

Do you forgive me?

I am in love with pain and I am in love with you. What does that mean? When we say I love you do we mean it or is it just habbit. Why do we do this?

I have to go to work.

I'll spend tonight in his arms and wonder where someone else is. Tomorrow he will kiss me at the door as I walk in a daze to my car replaying our last words in my head... and then I'll hear from him the next time it's convienent to him... and I'll come running.

Show me the slightest bit of affection and I'm yours.

I am flawed.

bite back // scratch away

:PLAYLIST:

:I READ:
envyyou
jenifer-007
boysxkickxme
jarardlikesu
ending-here
DearJared
weneedariot
x-star-
blackout-
dana-elayne
emokid-112
xshebreaks
andwebreathe
kaydizzle
gloryxxfades
britneypink
eatxmexalive
yourmove-
darceek
onlydespair
girls-suck
greed-
amber163
fragiledeath
lovemeonce
xbeeyatchx
addisen
ifiwere
forever-emo-