{{{Bite Me}}}

I Hate Live Journal
May 27, 2004 at 3:38 p.m.

Listening to: "Sunrise, Sunset" by Bright Eyes

Feeling: Depressed

I want to do the things that I'm not supposed to do. I want his words that feel like lies to stop. I just want the truth from everyone, but everyone is so damn scared of hurting me that they won't say it. Just say it, dammit! I can take it, I can take just about anything. I'm much stronger then you think I am. I don't want to love him any more. I want him out of my life. I want him in my bed. I don't want to cry these tears than I am choking back. I want something new, somthing beautiful, something that I don't have to hide. I don't want to be someones fall back crutch who is getting pitty (blah blah blah). I hate Ciara more than anything in the entire world. I do not wish her pain, I do not wish her death, I just wish she would get the hell out of my life. I can't wait for Jared to go away to college and for her to move to New York. She doesn't deserve him. God, I love Cory so much for what he says to me. I wish I truly believed him. I want to make new wounds and rub his salty tears in them just so I can feel him inside of me once again. I want to be truly happy once again. I want his "I love you" to be full of honesty and comfort. There is no beauty left in my world. I will go to the Pennylane house tonite and cry on Whitney's shoulder because sometimes I think she might actually understand, but there is so much that has to be left out that makes the story fall so short from the truth.

There are so many choice words I want to call her, but I won't say them because I don't mean them. I hate her, but this isn't her fault. I am mad at Jared and when it comes down to it all of this was my fault so those things I shouldn't do seem like the things I deserve. I doubt you could ever understand.

bite back // scratch away

:PLAYLIST:

:I READ:
envyyou
jenifer-007
boysxkickxme
jarardlikesu
ending-here
DearJared
weneedariot
x-star-
blackout-
dana-elayne
emokid-112
xshebreaks
andwebreathe
kaydizzle
gloryxxfades
britneypink
eatxmexalive
yourmove-
darceek
onlydespair
girls-suck
greed-
amber163
fragiledeath
lovemeonce
xbeeyatchx
addisen
ifiwere
forever-emo-