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Stupid Cramps
May 22, 2004 at 1:08 p.m.

Listening to: "Fatally Yours" by Alkaline Trio

Feeling: Pain

I don't know where this hatred comes from. I didn't even know that I was truly capable of hate. It's true that I hated Anita just the same (Well, not just the same because she lives in a different state so I didn't have to think about her hands on my love) as I hate Ciara, but why? I don't even hate Jesse this much. I am so consumed by jealousy and I don't understand it. How can just the mention of her name flip me from perfectly fine to raging bitch? I can't wait for Jared to go away to college. If they're still together then good for them, but it won't be nearly as frustrating as for me.

I have cramps and I want to die. Yes, I think death would feel ten times cooler than this. The pain is so bad that I can't even sleep or eat. The last time my cramps were this bad was one time when I was at Jared's house after we had gone to Taco Bell and we laid in his bed and he held my hand so I could squeeze it and he got my medicine and just held me until I finally passed out. I know that sounds like a lame story, but that is just one of the many reasons that I love him. I wish he was here now to make me feel better, but he is in the shower. I think that I might feel better if I had something to take my mind off of the pain, but I doubt he would come over.

Aerosmith tonite which now just sounds like hell because I hurt so bad. There are a few things that I am looking forward to tho, but I won't write them here because it's a secret.

bite back // scratch away

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