:Extras:
Profile
Rings
Reviews
Just Got Home
2003-03-26 at 6:55 p.m.
Listening to: "Ball and Chain" by Social Distortion
Feeling: happy
This entry is gonna be sooo long cuz I have so much to say. California was pretty cool. Tyler ignored me a lot and Kyle and I talked. Lindsey followed me around a lot and hung on me the entire time, but it wasn't all awful. I ended up getting sick on Sunday and I just really needed some alone time, but she wouldn't leave me alone.
I missed Jared muches while I was away, but we talked a whole bunches. For some reason we got in a bunch of little arguments but I dunno why. It made me sad cuz I didn't wanna waste our time we had arguing but that's how it turned out. When we were finally together on Monday it was all wonderful again. The drive Yreka was long and boring, but I didn't mind holding his hand for 6 hours. My mom ended up letting us sleep together which was ohso nice of her. I love waking up in his arms and when we woke up around 6 and couldn't get back to sleep he whispered in my ear "You're gonna marry me." I was so excited to hear that. I'm so happy to be so in love and not have a jerk boyfriend like Chris. Jared also stayed the nite last nite and mommy made us sleep at opposite ends of the bed so I ended up kicking him in the face a whole bunch. I hated having him so close, but not being able to be cuddle up with him and I cried cuz it was so sad, but it was nice to have him there when I woke up this morning.
Last nite I was also having weird thoughts, but it's been that way a lot lately... I can't stop thinking about Josh. The other nite I had a dream that he said he liked me and whatnot and then last nite I kept thinking back to the closet party. If I had moved just a minute earlier could have the entire situation changed? Would we still be too good of friends? I wasn't thinking that I wouldn't have been with Jared now, but if I had just cheated on Chris that nite would have Josh and I been together and I coulda have pulled myself from that situation before it even happened, but then I remember that Josh started liking Randi just a few days ever... I just wonder if I had made that move and listened to Ruby and Alex if it all would have been different.
Some not so good stuff also happened while I was gone in Cali. David never called me altho I did get an e-mail from him. I really wanted to hear from him cuz I missed him, but maybe he was busy or something, I dunno. Also, Tyler's parents wanna send him to rehab which makes me sad cu I don't think he needs to go. The other nite he called to tell me what was going on at home, but I didn't hear my phone ring and when I called back he was on the phone with Mireilli. He said he'd call back but never did so I'm kinda worried, but I guess I'll call him later.
Today I got a letter from poetry.com saying I won a contest and I'm getting one of my poems published. I'm so excited, but I feel kinda bad. The poem is about a time that I was mad at Jared and I feel bad putting that out there for everyone to read. He says he's okay with it, but I dunno. I don't think it'll be that big of a deal so I'm sending it is.
There's a lot more I could write about but typing is growing boring so I'm done for now.
:PLAYLIST:
:I
READ:
envyyou
jenifer-007
boysxkickxme
jarardlikesu
ending-here
DearJared
weneedariot
x-star-
blackout-
dana-elayne
emokid-112
xshebreaks
andwebreathe
kaydizzle
gloryxxfades
britneypink
eatxmexalive
yourmove-
darceek
onlydespair
girls-suck
greed-
amber163
fragiledeath
lovemeonce
xbeeyatchx
addisen
ifiwere
forever-emo-